A tear after a year

I adore uncertainty in life. It is a lifelong emotion that questions your judgment along the different hurdles you encounter and the mental strength required to overcome any form of disappointment or destruction. It thrives on people’s insecurities and engulfed by my self- delusion, I have become the victim yet once again. The fluctuating response’s which constantly was misinterpreted has left me derailed and the cries of this destitute were never heard.

Never did I think, I had to undergo any form of emotional despair, well at least not for now. Yet, the world has once again guided me into this solitary pilgrimage in search of myself yet again. I am not a virgin to it but I guess the stubborn nature never lets me enjoy the blissfulness of life for more than a few months. It always finds ways to rip me apart in and this time it came in the form of you.

The initial surge of questions made me ponder deep and high, yet I remained calm and composed. This self assurance felt was rather endearing yet it made me doubt.  This wave of silence and need were exchanging vows to engage and then it all changed after one incident.

My eyes were glued to your constant twists and on-goers. As an insomniac, I felt it was the shortest wake up in my life. Yet it left me with a deep impression, I immersed myself in a parody of you and me. The sleepless nights, constant thoughts of you, the mutual understandings and my faith in the changes you would make in your life, it all seemed picture perfect. Yet some things were never meant to be.

Satisfaction in life is hard to achieve and I do not have the right to disrupt it. Heightened by the vulnerability of your past, you have created a barrier and a lone disposition to prevent changes in life. It was never mutual and I shall do my part in secluding my emotions and treat you in a similar manner. The depth and frequency of interactions might not be the same, but it would still continue.